JUST A WORD

For the first time, I am writing without a title. Because I can't find the suitable title. So no title. You know what, some of friend said that I am cruel because I don't even told them my IG, Facebook or any of my personal social media account. Even if they know (which I don't know how), I never accept their request (my account is private obviously) Even my contact list on my phone never reached 30 persons.  In fact, I don't save people number. Even though they are my classmate, family member or even friends. That is the reason why my contact list was so less.  But weird enough, I feel comfortable with that. Having less contact on phone, less person on my social media. I like it. And I love it when my personal life is blurry. Nobody know it. And, because I won't let my personal social media being interfered, then I create a new one just for a shadow. And also for my resume😂.  The people on my IG either my friend that I really know, my high school senio

I has a brother that always avoid to bring me out even I ask him too..A brother that always lied to me thinking it was funny to make fun of me..A brother that always broke his promise and never did comply with his promise.. Also a brother that always forgot the important thing i said to him even keep being remind..and the same brother that always said "Never ask anything from me" but he was the one who always ask me for anything.. But also, he is the one who always put his story with me that he never told our parents what it is..He also the one who travel miles away just to fetch me up..The one that taught me my mathematic until I able to understand the question.. He also the one who stand over me when I am being bullied..the first one who rush over me when I fall from my bicycle..and the one that said to me never waste your time on loving a person that never see you for yourself..the one that think about my future when I don't.. He may forgot all of this but I never did.

The word death always struck me. And I know facing death mean you will be leaving everyone that you know, everyone that you love, every beautiful memory you created, every single things you had done. And the only thing that remain is their memory of yours. You will be leaving your title, your position, your status and your loved one will keep missing your because they know you won't be back and hug them anymore. You won't be with them anymore. Your voice that been living with them will no longer can be heard. That is the pain of losing someone to the death. I always told my mom "One day I will die" and she always said "Stop your nonsense" Maybe she think I am joking but I know that is the truth and she know it too. The word related to death scared me. I am afraid of the death because losing is a things that I always failed on. I can't even imagine living without the person who always there for me. I can't even think of waking up in the morning and re