JUST A WORD

Among my least favorite thing to do in life, making a decision is one of it. It's not that I hate it but it was among my least favorite thing.  Just a couple of days ago, someone tell me that I am an adult and no longer a teenager. I should stop behave like one. And I said it was funny that an adult is determine by age because if it determine by a person mental health, I'm afraid everyone is a teenager.  One thing about being adult is the more they age, it require them to make a lot of decision especially on life. It's good to become an adult but I wish there is fun to it. But I know everyone just wish they can get through the day. There will be a time where you just feel unhappy with the choice you make but still, you glad you make it because sometimes a decision that you make, it may not all about you. Sometimes your concern for the decision is other people. But not everyone can understand your decision. It kind of devastating because your decision is for others but they

Even though there is no right and wrong choice, but there is a thing that I always questioned about myself. I always took a decision or choice that I'm gonna regret soon. Lot of the decision that I take always lead me to regret. Even no matter how much time I sit and ponder about every outcome of my decision. And believing I'll make the best decision after a long thought, but I always end up regretting it. But the only thing make it difference was no matter how much I regret it later and can't go with it, I always end up doing it until the end.  When you regret something in your life, it will become a torment. You will questioned yourself, your capability and had to swing it. It's no longer a decision but a mission. To conquer the decision with a lot of regret. It hard if you keep doing it. I'm not saying you will hate it, believe me there will be light and smile that you love in it because it was your best decision at the first place. But to walked till the end, yo

People tend to talk about their special trait. Well, I would love to talk about my toxic trait since I'm not a standard human being. I tend to push people away when something is in error. I stop talking to people. I keep myself isolated. I stop responding to people.  Some people may view my action as a selfish act. Some may assume I am a type of person that enjoy pushing people away.  But, don't worry. There is nothing wrong with you. It's not that you failed to understand me. It's also not because I refuse to let you understand me or stand by my side.  I just prefer to attend every single things by myself. They said I am self-centred for pushing every people that close to me. But I think it will be unfair for them if I started to treat them poor. I can't treat every person poorly just because I am the problem. It's not fair for them.  This is my own way to cope with my situation. I am preventing myself from becoming a mess for them. But, believe me, there is no

I always said, no matter what happen please smile. Actually, I want to take it back. Do cry if it hurt you. Stop pretending to be happy if you are sad. Why? Because it had mislead everyone. Just speak it out if you are not okay, even nobody really care but at least they listen to you.  Shout as loud as you can. Even if people give you a stern gaze and call you crazy, at least you know you are alive.  Show it if you're not in the best state. Say any word to make the people notice. Believe me, there will be a person who really care about you.  Stop live a life of other presumptions. Lead your own soul. You will feel much lighter.  You are strong so it's okay if you wanna cry. It wasn't bad thing except maybe your face will be bad because it full of the snort and tears😅 Maybe people never ask are you okay because you always look okay which prove eyes can lies. Maybe nobody hugged you because you always give them a hug. You act strong all the time. So, maybe loose yourself a b