TOXIC TRAIT

People tend to talk about their special trait. Well, I would love to talk about my toxic trait since I'm not a standard human being.

I tend to push people away when something is in error. I stop talking to people. I keep myself isolated. I stop responding to people. 

Some people may view my action as a selfish act. Some may assume I am a type of person that enjoy pushing people away. 

But, don't worry. There is nothing wrong with you. It's not that you failed to understand me. It's also not because I refuse to let you understand me or stand by my side. 

I just prefer to attend every single things by myself. They said I am self-centred for pushing every people that close to me. But I think it will be unfair for them if I started to treat them poor. I can't treat every person poorly just because I am the problem. It's not fair for them. 

This is my own way to cope with my situation. I am preventing myself from becoming a mess for them. But, believe me, there is no single day I stop thinking about them and the memory. 

However, I'm not saying you must push everyone whenever something wrong. Learn to deal with the mess while keeping your loved one by your side. Just as much they need you, I believe you also need them by your side. 

I am not happy neither proud with this toxic trait. But I wish you never have to learn this trait. It will poison you. Sometimes you don't have to think about everything. Follow the wind of fate and listen to the star of your heart. I wish for you to find a better way than me. A better trait inside you💙


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