JUST A WORD

Here i am.. Trying to figure out One particular reason  To satisfied the urge of curiosity To acknowledge the weakness of heart Where fear becoming the ruler It's cold inside And everything freeze Mind is empty and wandering Feeling is nowhere to be seen Sense is dying and waiting to go And nothing seems right But smiling and laughing is a must Because we are undercover To cover every sickness and pain Bury with a ton of lies Then people will accept us They will not calling us freak And now I am getting tired Sitting and feeling lose Empty inside that I can scream out loud My hand grip is keep loosen up Hanging and staying because of my dream I am empty inside  Feel cold  But i am alive because of the pain It teach me to alive in darkness It teach me to breathe under the suffocated day And here I am I am far from stronger But day by day I build my strength  I am far from perfection But one step ahead to learn my mistake I am still empty  But I know that I am goi...

  Most people would like to talk about it, but there are people who are going to avoid the word. Someone once told me that my sorry is meaningless because I never put any sense in it, even from the bottom of my heart I really mean it. So, I've always noted myself. My sorry is twice and that's it. The first is an apologized that comes from my heart. The next is my reflection on our relationship.And if by chance the second sorry is wasn't what they searching for, I'm not going to go for my third sorry, because the third sorry is my dignity. So,it really hard for me to say sorry even if i really want to. But sometimes i did apologized though😉. Someone said that "there's nothing to be afraid about asking for forgiveness" and this word is true. Don't afraid to ask for forgiveness. And this word is specially for all of you exclude me, because I am afraid to ask for forgiveness. I am afraid that people will say the same thing about my sorry. But I will do my...

I'm tired of everything Tired of wanting to be the best Tired of smiling all day  Tired of saying sorry  and I am exhausted of forcing myself Because it hurt me real bad at the end of the day I'm no longer me  Because I'm no longer crying for you And I'm no longer waiting for you I'm no longer asking for you So who am I? Then,what's me? How many tears you want from me  To convince you  How much further I need to wait  To make you realize  Just how much time I need to ask for you to understand that I'm holding my tears in my sleep I'm not going to wait for you, because I'm walking behind you I'm not asking for you,because you're never actually asking for me  And when I thought everything could be different You stomp me up and ask me why  When you never try to understand it I'm walking away not that I am no longer me But i'm really sore,  And I know that's going to ruin my f...

I am not a perfect person neither a talented one but i can promise you that i can be your listener anywhere and anytime.There will be not much that i can do but it will always be my responsibility to hear you and be there for you.The reason why because i had been through that phase where nobody willing to listen to my story and it make me feel bad.That feeling always lingered around me so i know how hurt it was and i hate it to other people feel it just like how i feel it.So,if you need me,you need a listener you can always find me,i will listen to your story even it will be the last thing that i can do for you.I am not hoping for you to pay me with the money or what,but if you across a situation that required you to be their listener,i hope you willing to listen to their story.It hurt when nobody listen to you and the only thing you can do is,keeping it to yourself till it kill you inside.Reach me whenever you need me.No matter who you are,where you are,I promise to listen to every of...

Lately,my long lost hobby came back.That hobby of looking up to the sky.And then i will wonder by myself.Lot of thing happen lately and i just realized that i am no longer doing this hobby.So i started my hobby back.And then i realized that i had been away too long and i guess it time to go back. To my dear one,i am sorry that i had am no longer me.I am sorry that i am no longer care and being myself.I am afraid that i never knew that i had changed when my body is mine.I make a lot of mistakes and this time,please don't forgive me.I am not worth it.Saying sorry is an easy word but to forgive,even for myself,i find out that it hard,so don't forgive me.And even if you did,keep it in your prayer. Thank you for all of the time,for all of the memory,for all of the energy.I try my best to be the best but i guess that i can't.I feel ashamed of myself.Soon i will done my last duty and i will make sure that last duty will always make you proud of me.I broke all of t...