JUST A WORD

 Sometimes I wonder Where thing started to went wrong To the point I started to giving up Ran away as far as I can It keep coming Day by day it torture me Believe me I am trying To make sure it went away And never come back But it always come strong It knock me out Let me suffer little by little If you ask me am I happy Yes I am but I know I don't even know what is happy Does it really matter for us to be happy Because if you ask me right now I don't have the right answer for you Those broken part I try to fix it But the more I try to fix, it become worse I hide it well inside myself Wear different mask to cover it up But when the mask gone I am no longer hiding it up Take a step to away so that No one can see me anymore

I've always told my mom that I want to go back to my childhood. Because I'm having a lot of fun with friends. I'm not worried about my study, my money or my job. I could have dreamed of as much as I want, but now I'm afraid of a dream. I can play mud, or swim in my grandma's pool, or even play the whole time, but now I can't even afford to think about joy. I used to hang out with a lot of friends, but now my circle is getting smaller. The one I'm using to play catch with is a stranger. Someone that i used to crush on is nobody. Someone that I used to offend is unknown. It makes me think that if this is what my life is going to be like, I prefer to stay forever in my childhood with my memories which are impossible. But life is the thing that keeps me moving forward. Everyone need to grow up and have a life. Childhood will become a memory, and the future will become a life. I used to love reading, but I love writing now. I used to get out and meet new people,

  Berdiri, berlari dan mencari Sebuah ketenangan yang hakiki Tanpa tangisan dan rayuan didengari Tanpa ada darah yang mengalir di sana sini Namun, semuanya telah terjadi tanpa ada diingini Terasa sakit dan perit di dada ini Mengalirnya cecair merah membasahi diri Lalu rebah sambil menanti Sang maut datang menjemput kembali   Terjaga dari tidurku yang lena Lena kerana aku berada di negara merdeka Tanpa ada yang menyakiti dan menyeksa Tiada lagi keperitan yang sama Kerana kita negara yang merdeka untuk selamanya Kerana perpaduan kita menjaga Kerana perpaduan kita saling melindungi bersama-sama Dengan adanya keprihatinan yang kekal abadi dan selamanya   Badai datang melanda dan mengoncang dunia Masing-masing saling berjaga Agar tiada lagi yang terkorban dan tiada Tiada untuk selamanya-lamanya Kerana ini negara kita Sama-sama kita jaga Bersatu hati kita perangi segalanya Agar suatu hari nanti kita menang dengan gembira Membawa satu seja

    If you do try to understand me It will never be like this If you do try to believe me It will be different But you won’t Because you never do I fight myself I try to win over myself But the end, I lose Because fighting alone never result in good Fighting alone is a fight that you tried to kill yourself in battle But I choose it Because I know you won’t be with me Because if you do I won’t be here   Tears is my blood Every pain result in blood Every pain will become a scar That will not faded away either now or later   Now, selfishness is my new style Cold is my new environment And love will be guarded

How lovely life is  When you just relax and gaze at nature  Smiling under the blue sky  Wind stop by to say hello and good-bye  Before moving ahead with the journey How lovely life is When they're all there for you No one left or forgotten Watching the beautiful view of the sunrise To stay together to enjoy the sunset Keeping a promise to each other It's going to be fun every day How lovely life is  We could see when some of them don't.  When some don't, we could talk.  We could hear when some of them don't  We could run and walk when some of us can't.  And we could breathe when some of us can't fight for tomorrow But the beauty of life is more precious to those who couldn't.  They appreciate it more than people could   They 're living and breathing more than people are.  They understand more than people who could  Since they already know how amazing their lives are Beautiful life is not a waste. Beautiful life is not a concern of regret. It's ab

This little girl always wonder why This little girl always try to find a reason But she never find it and in the end she let it go So many times she wish she could leave So many times she wish she could disappear So many times she wish she could go But so many times it won't happen Because she couldn't make it happen There was a day when she couldn't understand herself well And now it's all day To the point she can no longer recognize herself any longer Where sometimes she feel sorry for them for staying When they could leave and lead a happy life Instead they are learn to understand her And it hopeless, because she can't She try to make it possible with her words But nobody know she bad with words She try to reach them but she can't reach herself She try to give a nice advice but in the end She can't do the same She telling herself every day Everything going to end soon  Everything going to be okay But she know it won't be over Unless she brace herself

Here i am.. Trying to figure out One particular reason  To satisfied the urge of curiosity To acknowledge the weakness of heart Where fear becoming the ruler It's cold inside And everything freeze Mind is empty and wandering Feeling is nowhere to be seen Sense is dying and waiting to go And nothing seems right But smiling and laughing is a must Because we are undercover To cover every sickness and pain Bury with a ton of lies Then people will accept us They will not calling us freak And now I am getting tired Sitting and feeling lose Empty inside that I can scream out loud My hand grip is keep loosen up Hanging and staying because of my dream I am empty inside  Feel cold  But i am alive because of the pain It teach me to alive in darkness It teach me to breathe under the suffocated day And here I am I am far from stronger But day by day I build my strength  I am far from perfection But one step ahead to learn my mistake I am still empty  But I know that I am going to be okay

  Most people would like to talk about it, but there are people who are going to avoid the word. Someone once told me that my sorry is meaningless because I never put any sense in it, even from the bottom of my heart I really mean it. So, I've always noted myself. My sorry is twice and that's it. The first is an apologized that comes from my heart. The next is my reflection on our relationship.And if by chance the second sorry is wasn't what they searching for, I'm not going to go for my third sorry, because the third sorry is my dignity. So,it really hard for me to say sorry even if i really want to. But sometimes i did apologized though😉. Someone said that "there's nothing to be afraid about asking for forgiveness" and this word is true. Don't afraid to ask for forgiveness. And this word is specially for all of you exclude me, because I am afraid to ask for forgiveness. I am afraid that people will say the same thing about my sorry. But I will do my

I'm tired of everything Tired of wanting to be the best Tired of smiling all day  Tired of saying sorry  and I am exhausted of forcing myself Because it hurt me real bad at the end of the day I'm no longer me  Because I'm no longer crying for you And I'm no longer waiting for you I'm no longer asking for you So who am I? Then,what's me? How many tears you want from me  To convince you  How much further I need to wait  To make you realize  Just how much time I need to ask for you to understand that I'm holding my tears in my sleep I'm not going to wait for you, because I'm walking behind you I'm not asking for you,because you're never actually asking for me  And when I thought everything could be different You stomp me up and ask me why  When you never try to understand it I'm walking away not that I am no longer me But i'm really sore,  And I know that's going to ruin my f

I am not a perfect person neither a talented one but i can promise you that i can be your listener anywhere and anytime.There will be not much that i can do but it will always be my responsibility to hear you and be there for you.The reason why because i had been through that phase where nobody willing to listen to my story and it make me feel bad.That feeling always lingered around me so i know how hurt it was and i hate it to other people feel it just like how i feel it.So,if you need me,you need a listener you can always find me,i will listen to your story even it will be the last thing that i can do for you.I am not hoping for you to pay me with the money or what,but if you across a situation that required you to be their listener,i hope you willing to listen to their story.It hurt when nobody listen to you and the only thing you can do is,keeping it to yourself till it kill you inside.Reach me whenever you need me.No matter who you are,where you are,I promise to listen to every of

Lately,my long lost hobby came back.That hobby of looking up to the sky.And then i will wonder by myself.Lot of thing happen lately and i just realized that i am no longer doing this hobby.So i started my hobby back.And then i realized that i had been away too long and i guess it time to go back. To my dear one,i am sorry that i had am no longer me.I am sorry that i am no longer care and being myself.I am afraid that i never knew that i had changed when my body is mine.I make a lot of mistakes and this time,please don't forgive me.I am not worth it.Saying sorry is an easy word but to forgive,even for myself,i find out that it hard,so don't forgive me.And even if you did,keep it in your prayer. Thank you for all of the time,for all of the memory,for all of the energy.I try my best to be the best but i guess that i can't.I feel ashamed of myself.Soon i will done my last duty and i will make sure that last duty will always make you proud of me.I broke all of t